she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
