Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
