If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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