So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize