last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
