just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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