Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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