you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
