I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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