when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
