Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
