Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
