i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
