I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
