Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
