I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
