Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
