Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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