I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
