help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
