I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The best revenge is premature balding
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
