Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
