smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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