i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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