I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize