i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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