I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
