Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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