so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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