I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
