I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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