I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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