Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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