you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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