Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
