So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
