The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i think i have herpe
just one?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
