don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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