when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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