He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
