Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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