But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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