Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
