Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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