But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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