I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
