Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
