The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
