Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize