We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
