So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
