hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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