How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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