why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
