I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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