You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
