Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
