last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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