I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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